Thursday, April 9, 2009
Having six children is, of course, a breeding ground for happiness, joy, pain, anxiety, love, sorrow and all the emotions tucked in between. Yet, never have I felt this kind of pain, this kind of sorrow. I feel like every cell of my body aches. I am trying to understand. These words keep coming to me: "greatly multiply thy sorrow." I quickly look it up, knowing God is taking to Eve but wanting to know the context and why this message to me. In Genesis it says: "Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and they conception; in sorrow shall thou bring forth children." In the foot notes under multiply it says: HEB increase thy discomfort and thy size (i.e. in the condition and process of pregnancy). And under sorrow it refers to suffering. Having six children with nothing for the pain, I understand the discomfort and suffering part. Could this not only apply to pregnancy and belly size but also to the multiplication of generations: as our family increases in size our joy not only increases but also our discomfort, or sorrow?
Before I go to bed we call Ann, morning in Fairfax, Virginia. Her voice is bright, optimistic, happy, hopeful, in short, everything it was not the night before. She acknowledges two things: God and sleep. (I do think God is there when we sleep.) For the first time in days I go to bed content. Content that right now she is well. "I can do this," she says. I can do this. I prayed a miracle would happen. But of course, in my short sightedness I prayed for a certain miracle, a specific thing I wanted to happen so I wouldn't be in pain any more. I did always say "never the less" but it was quiet, almost like I didn't want God to hear. This morning (Fairfax, Virginia night) we hear Mary Deane laughing in the background. Ann tells us of the good 3 hour nap of Mary Deane and how she fiercely fought off the nurses, the vitals checker, the housekeeping ladies to keep her baby asleep. "I am happy," Ann says, "when she is happy." I know. I know because joy is multiplied. I know because sorrow is multiplied.
How God could watch His Only Begotten Son take on the sins of this world and not take the cup from Him is beyond my very feeble, selfish mind. Sorrow multiplied how many times? Sorrow multiplied for us. How I am humbled at the thought. But God, the great creator, loved us perfectly.
So joy and sorrow are multiplied. That is the miracle of families. Joy is multiplied with each new person added to the family circle, in-laws, grandchildren, great grandchildren and on and on. It is an eternal link of joy and sorrow.
I will be grateful for this commandment: multiply.