It is a lost art, having a baby and feeling all the pain. Some say why? Why have any pain at all when you don't have to. That is a good argument, especially if one has been through the above mentioned pain, you know exactly how it feels. But, (you knew there was a but) there is something about feeling this miracle in all its forms: the baby moving down that birth canal, the uterus contracting to make this happen, the sensation to push and finally to know you can actually do the impossible. Yes, it truly is an impossible act.
Jordan didn't think she could do the impossible, but she did. I told her I would take the pain for her if I could. But this rite of passage cannot be outsourced. She began the pain journey that comes with children and was brave and strong. I can't believe they let me be there for such a sacred time--Jordan holding on to Craig (she was standing up which is what you get to do when you have no epidural or are not induced) while he talked her through the pain and assured her again and again she could do the impossible. I felt I should leave but was grateful to stay and at least be good at the photography part while the parents where truly lost in the moment.
As I rubbed Jordan's arms they looked like my arms, 30 years ago--hairless and pale. How could this be--our babies having babies? Seth asked me where my kids were. I told him his mom is my kid. Why is that concept so hard for children? No, he said, where are your little kids? I don't have little kids anymore, I said. They are all grown up.
